My relationship with rest – from guilt to self-love

I used to see rest as something you “deserved” – only after everything else was done. A reward. Or worse, a sign of weakness. I rushed through life, packed my days, and measured my worth through productivity.

When my body finally said stop and I crashed into burnout, I was in shock. Rest was suddenly necessary – but I didn’t know how to do it. And every time I laid down, I felt guilty. A voice whispered in my head: “You should be doing something. You’re lazy. You’re faking it.”

It’s taken time, but today, my view of rest has completely changed. I want to share my story – and explain why rest isn’t a luxury, it’s a necessity.

🧠 Why rest is essential in burnout recovery

When we’re burned out, our body is stuck in a constant stress mode. The nervous system is in “fight or flight,” making even small tasks feel overwhelming. Rest helps the body shift into a calmer state: rest and digest.

Here’s what happens when you allow yourself to rest:

  • Your brain recovers – memory, focus, and emotional regulation improve.
  • Stress hormones drop – reducing anxiety and racing thoughts.
  • Your immune system strengthens – your body begins to heal.
  • Creativity and clarity return – your mind finds space.

So no, rest is not wasting time. It’s the foundation for healing.

💛 How I learned to rest – without feeling lazy

Here are a few steps that helped me shift my mindset around rest:

1. I named the guilt

I began writing down the thoughts I had when resting. Often, old beliefs showed up:
“I have to earn my rest.”
“If I rest, I’ll fall behind.”
Just noticing these thoughts helped me question them.

2. I changed my language

Instead of saying “I rest because I’m tired,” I began to say:
👉 “I rest to take care of myself.”
👉 “Rest is active healing.”
Small words made a big difference.

3. I introduced micro-breaks

Rest doesn’t always mean a whole afternoon in bed. A quiet cup of tea. Five deep breaths. Staring out the window with no screen.
That counts too.

4. I started listening to my body

I began to ask: What do I need right now? Rest became something I tuned into, not something I planned around.


🌿 Reflection exercise: Explore your relationship with rest

Take out a notebook or open your notes app and reflect on these:

  • What did I learn about rest growing up or from society?
  • What feelings come up when I allow myself to rest?
  • How would it feel if rest was a natural part of my life – not something I had to “earn”?

Read your answers with kindness. You might discover that much of your guilt isn’t truly yours – it’s inherited.


✨ Rest as an act of self-love

Today I see rest as a form of self-respect. A way of telling myself:
“I deserve to feel well – regardless of what I achieve.”

If you’re also struggling to rest without guilt – know that you’re not alone. But also know that change is possible. Rest isn’t a pause. It’s a way back home to yourself.


💛 Question for you: What’s your relationship with rest right now? And what would you like it to become?

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